Expressions
by BellisariosGirls
Summary: Collaboration between Cable Addict and Vamp926. Series of Tiva one shots based on Italian expressions.
1. Tirare Un Bidone A Qualcuno

**So, hello all that clicked on this story, this is a collaboration between Cable Addict and Vamp926. We were bored and surfing the net and found this site with Itailan expressions so we picked our favorite and wrote a series of one shots. Hope you enjoy!**

Tirare Un Bidone A Qualcuno

* * *

**Tirare Un Bidone A Qualcuno** _exp._ to stand someone up on a date or appointment; (lit.): to throw a trash can at someone.

* * *

McGee looked up as the elevator dinged. Both Tony and Ziva were late and while Tony was late all the time, it was unusual for Ziva to be late. Just then Tony stepped out of the elevator whistling, his bag slung over his shoulder.

"Morning, Probie," Tony said as he dropped his bag behind his desk and sat down.

"Do you know where Ziva is, Tony? She's late," McGee said. As he said this, a look of horror crossed Tony's face.

"Damn," Tony whispered, his face growing quite pale.

"What?" McGee asked. Just then the elevator dinged and Tony looked at it, a strange look on his face.

"Ziva dropped her car off at the garage yesterday to get the brakes fixed, I was supposed to pick her up," Tony said.

"And you forgot," McGee said, finishing Tony's sentence for him. "Nice knowing you."

Ziva stepped out of the elevator, murder in her eyes and she stalked over to Tony's desk.

"Where were you this morning?" Ziva demanded. "Did you over sleep with a date, were you lounging in bed, too lazy to remember to pick up your partner for work?"

"I did over sleep, but I was alone, I swear. I forgot and I'm so sorry," Tony said.

"You're sorry?" Ziva asked, outraged. "I had to take the bus and I had to sit next to a hobo that smelled like old cheese and rotten eggs. I'll have to burn these clothes at the end of the day!"

"Ziva," Tony said his hands up in surrender. "I really am sorry, I didn't mean too. My alarm didn't go off."

"Tony, that's a pathetic excuse. And this is my favorite shirt," Ziva said, her voice growing louder with every word.

"Ziva, I really am sorry," Tony said. Apparently this was the last straw because Ziva went over to her desk and picked up her trashcan.

"Ziva," McGee said, finally feeling the need to intervene.

"Stay out of it," Tony and Ziva said at the same time.

"Ziva," Tony said, but it was too late, the trashcan had left Ziva's hand. Tony instinctively ducked but McGee wasn't fast enough and it hit him on the head.

"Ow," McGee said as he rubbed his head and chucked the trashcan back at Ziva who caught it deftly.

"I'm sorry," Ziva said as she placed the trashcan back next to her desk. Just then Gibbs walked into the bullpen and the three immediately quieted. Gibbs walked over to Tony and stood in front of him. Tony looked fearfully at his boss and a few seconds later there was a resounding _smack_ in the bullpen.

"Boss, what was that for?" Tony asked. "I didn't throw the trashcan."

"Rule number one, never screw over your partner," Gibbs said quietly.

"Thank you, Boss," Tony said. Gibbs then turned to Ziva and slapped the back of her head as well, although much more lightly than he had slapped Tony.

"No more flying trashcans," Gibbs said and Ziva nodded her understandment. Then Gibbs walked over to McGee and looked at him. McGee internally cringed, but to his surprise, Gibbs didn't slap him.

"Next time, duck, McGee," Gibbs said.


	2. Ogni Regola Ha Un' Eccezione

* * *

Ogni Regola Ha Un' Eccezione.

* * *

_Ogni regola ha un' eccezione._  
**English translation:** There is an exception to every rule.

* * *

Tony and Ziva stepped off of the elevators together with secret smiles on their faces. Today was their six month anniversary and still no one knew about their secret marriage. Tony and Ziva had kept up the bickering and sexual tension and not even Gibbs was aware. They walked into the bullpen and saw that McGee wasn't there yet, but Gibbs was. He was sitting at his desk attempting to read his email.

"Morning, Boss," Tony said as he slung his bag behind his desk.

"Where's McGee?" Gibbs asked.

"I don't know, Boss, I'm not his keeper," Tony said. Gibbs just glared at his senior field agent. "Right, I'll call him and find out where he is." Gibbs was about to turn back to his computer when a glint caught his eyes. Gibbs turned and looked, trying to figure out where it was coming from, and then he saw it. On Ziva's left hand on her ring finger was a large diamond and underneath that was a plain band. Gibbs frowned and looked over at Tony, who was now on the phone with McGee. Then Gibbs saw it, a band matching Ziva's on Tony's left hand. Biting back his anger, Gibbs rose out of his chair.

"Conference room, NOW," Gibbs said, and although his voice betrayed anger, it was also eerily calm. Tony and Ziva both rose from their seats, looking at each other, each wondering what they had done wrong. They followed Gibbs to the elevator and stepped inside. Gibbs pressed the button, waited until the elevator started moving and then flipped the switch and rounded on his agents.

"Explain," he said his voice deathly quiet.

"Uh, Boss, it might help if we knew what we were supposed to be explaining," Tony said. Gibbs looked pointedly at their ring fingers and dawning expressions crossed both of their faces.

"I vaguely remember saying something several times about rule number twelve; never date a coworker," Gibbs said, his voice still eerily calm.

"See, Boss, here's the thing, rule number twelve is never date a coworker, you never mentioned anything about marrying them," Tony said, a sheepish grin on his face. Gibbs looked at Ziva, who in turn looked appropriately guilty.

"We're sorry, Gibbs, but we love each other and we were tired of hiding it," Ziva said, hoping her offered excuse would be enough. Gibbs turned back to Tony and slapped his head.

"Hurt her, DiNozzo, and I'll smack you silly until you can't see," Gibbs said. "Now, I am going to flip this switch back on. DiNozzo, you are going to go back to your desk and wait for McGee and then you two will go that Petty Officer's house. David, you will go down to Abby's and see if she is done with the blood samples we gave her yesterday. Are we clear?"

"Yes," Tony and Ziva both said at once.

* * *

Ziva arrived down in Abby's lab and found the gothic forensic tech dancing around to a techno song.

"Abby," Ziva yelled. Abby stopped dancing and whipped around.

"Sorry," Abby said as she turned the music down. "What can I do you for?"

"Gibbs wanted to know if you were done with the blood samples that we left you yesterday," Ziva said.

"Well, most of it was the victim's blood, but there was a different type. I ran it through CODIS and didn't get any hits, so you're on your own there. However, of you have a suspect and get their DNA, I can match it, and oh my God, what is on your finger?" Abby asked, suddenly digressing from the topic of blood. Ziva looked at her confused and Abby took Ziva's hand and held it up in front of her face, revealing her engagement and wedding rings.

"Oh, that," Ziva said embarrassed. "Well, six months ago, Tony and I sort of got married."

"And I wasn't invited?" Abby asked, clearly hurt.

"No one was, it was a secret," Ziva said.

"Does Gibbs know?" Abby asked, still studying the rings on Ziva's finger.

"Yes, he just found out this morning, Tony and I forgot to take our rings off," Ziva said.

"Wow," Abby said.

* * *

Later that day, after he and Tony returned from their field trip, McGee headed down to the lab to see Abby. He was supposed to go see Ducky, but she wanted to see Abby first. When he walked into the lab, Abby was at her computer, working on lab results.

"Hey Abs, what's up?" McGee asked.

"I'm still working on this mystery substance and Tony and Ziva are married," Abby said.

"Cool," McGee said, and then he realized what had just come out of Abby's mouth. "Wait, what?"

"Tony and Ziva, they got married without telling anyone," Abby said.

"Wow," McGee said.

After McGee was done talking to Abby, he headed down to autopsy where he was supposed to be in the first place. The doors opened with a hiss and McGee walked in and found Palmer sitting at an autopsy table with medical books open all around him.

"Hey, Palmer, where's Ducky?" McGee asked.

"He had to run home really quick," Palmer said. "Something about his mother."

"Oh, well, when he gets back, can you tell him that Gibbs wants him?" McGee asked.

"Sure," Palmer said. "What's wrong? You look kinda shocked."

"I just found out that Tony and Ziva got married," McGee said. Palmer's jaw dropped.

"Really? I never would have thought," Palmer said.

"Yeah, I know," McGee said.

* * *

Ducky walked into autopsy and found his assistant studying.

"Hello my dear boy," Ducky said as he hung his coat up. "I'm sorry for leaving you here; Mother locked herself in her room and refused to come out."

"It's quiet alright, doctor," Palmer said.

"Did anything happen while I was away?" Ducky asked.

"Well, McGee came down here and said to tell you that Gibbs wanted to see you and Tony and Ziva are married," Palmer said.

"Tony and Ziva are what?" Ducky said in astonishment.

"That's what McGee said," Palmer told Ducky.

"Very well, I shall go see Jethro," Ducky said.

Gibbs was waiting for the elevator when it opened and he walked into Ducky.

"Ah, Jethro, just the man I wanted to see," Ducky said. Gibbs pulled Ducky into the elevator and flipped the switch. "Rumor has it that Anthony and Ziva are married."

"Yup, they are," Gibbs said.

"Ogni regola ha un' eccezione," Ducky said, causing Gibbs to smile slightly.

"Yeah," Gibbs said. "There is."

**Well, we hope you all enjoyed this second chapter. Keep watching for more!**


	3. Spettegolare

Spettegolare

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**Spettegolare** _v._ to gossip; (lit.): to tattle.

* * *

Abby was bored, way beyond bored. She had finished all of her forensic work and was now sitting at her computer staring at the screen. She sighed and squeezed Bert, causing him to fart.

"Let's see what's going on with the team in the bullpen," Abby said to Bert and set him down on the table next to her. Abby clicked a few times and then the footage from the bullpen popped up on the screen. Abby studied the screen carefully. McGee was at his desk and from his body position; Abby guessed that he was playing World of Warcraft. Gibbs was also at his desk, reviewing files, but Tony and Ziva were nowhere to be found.

"Hm, where are Tony and Ziva?" Abby asked herself and Bert as she instructed her computer to pull up footage from the elevator. "Damn," Abby said as she stared dumbfounded at the screen. Tony had Ziva pressed into a corner and their lips were locked and hands were roaming. Abby could just see where Ziva's shirt was hitched upwards and Tony's hands underneath. "Oh," Abby said as she continued to watch Tony and Ziva. Her hands slowly came up and covered Bert's eyes. "You don't need to see that," Abby said to Bert.

* * *

**INSIDE THE ELEVATOR…**

Tony had Ziva cornered and his lips pressed against hers hungrily. Ziva moaned slightly as Tony lifted her shirt and slid his hands up her stomach. Slowly, Tony began to inch his way down Ziva's collar bone, kissing it all the way to her neck. Ziva's had her head upwards and then suddenly he shoved Tony off of her and began readjusting her shirt.

"Sweetcheeks," Tony groaned. Ziva didn't say anything but silently pointed to the camera. "Damn," Tony swore as he buckled his belt back up. "We are so busted."

* * *

Abby was so absorbed in watching Tony and Ziva argue after they had noticed the camera that she didn't hear the ding of the elevator or the sound of voices in the hallway until they walked into her lab.

"Oh my God," Ziva said as she saw what was on Abby's screen. Abby whipped around at the sound of Ziva's voice.

"Oh my God," Abby screeched. "Both of you should have your mouths washed out with soap."

"You were watching us?" Tony asked.

"Sorta, kinda, maybe, yes," Abby said sheepishly.

"Why were you watching us, Abs?" Tony asked. Abby looked over at Ziva who was staring at her shoes intently and then back towards Tony who was silently advancing towards her.

"I was bored!" Abby whined.

"So you decided to spy on us?" Tony asked, practically yelling.

"You weren't in the bullpen, so I went looking for you. And found you eating each other's faces!" Abby said.

"Abs," Tony said warningly.

"Listen, I won't tell anyone if you bring me Caf-Pow's for two months," Abby said quickly. Tony eyed her for a second.

"One week," Tony said.

"Two," Abby said.

"Deal," Ziva said, finally speaking up causing both Tony and Abby to look at her.

"Alright, Abs, we're counting on you not to tell anyone, especially Gibbs," Tony said.

"Don't worry, I won't," Abby said.

* * *

**Two Weeks Later…**

Abby was mourning the loss of her free Caf-Pow's when Palmer walked in.

"Hey Abby," Palmer said.

"Hey Jimmy, what brings you up here?" Abby said.

"Boredom," Palmer said. Abby's eyes widened.

"Want to hear a secret?" Abby asked.

"Sure," Jimmy said.

"Guess who I caught sucking face in the elevator two weeks ago," Abby said.

"I don't know," Palmer said.

"Tony and Ziva," Abby said.

"What?" Palmer said, his eyes growing wide.

"Yeah, and then I promised not to tell if they bought me Caf-Pow for two weeks," Abby said.

"Well, you're telling me," Palmer pointed out.

"Well, the two weeks was up today, besides, it's not like I'm going to tell Gibbs," Abby said trailing off. "He's right behind me, isn't he?" Both Palmer and Abby slowly turned around and came face to face with the steely blue eyes Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

"They did _what_ in my office?" Gibbs asked, his voice strained as if he was trying to keep his temper under control.

"Uh, I think I hear Dr. Mallard calling me," Palmer said before running out of the lab.

"I'll repeat myself; they did _what_ in my office?" Gibbs said after Palmer had left.

"Who did what where, Gibbs?" Abby said, trying to cover up her mistake.

"Abs," Gibbs warned.

"Okay, two of your agents may or may not have had an extremely hot make out session in the elevator that would have kept on going until one of said agents spotted the camera in the elevator," Abby said.

"And which two agents are you talking about?" Gibbs asked, knowing that he probably already knew the answer.

"TonyandZiva," Abby said quickly.

"What was that, Abby?" Gibbs asked. Abby squirmed under Gibbs's stare.

"Tony and Ziva," Abby said slowly. Gibbs took Abby by her upper arm and led her out of the lab.

"Where are we going Gibbs?" Abby asked fearfully.

"To the bullpen," Gibbs said.

"Gibbs," Abby whined. "You can't tell them that I told."

"To bad," Gibbs said as he pressed the button for the elevator. The elevator dinged and the doors slide opened revealing Tony and Ziva standing inside. Gibbs let go of Abby's arm. "You can go back to your lab," Gibbs said. Abby hurried away with full intent of spying when Gibbs yelled her name. "And Abby, no spying."

"Gibbs, I would never," Abby said. She was cut off, however, by the deathly glare that Gibbs sent her. "Yes sir, no spying."

"Abby, don't call me sir," Gibbs said.

"Yes ma'am, no spying," Abby said and then ran off towards her lab. Gibbs turned back to look at his agents.

"You two, back in, NOW!" Gibbs said. Both Tony and Ziva both turned on their heels and went back into the elevator, their heads hung as if they were headed to their execution.

* * *

Abby opened the footage from the elevator just in time to see both Tony and Ziva get smacked on the back of the head. Abby giggled as she watched Tony and Ziva get off of the elevator at the bullpen. Her smile changed when she realized that Gibbs hadn't gotten off.

"Crap," Abby said as she hurriedly exited out of the elevator footage just in time to hear the elevator ding. Gibbs walked in and walked straight over to Abby.

"Abs," Gibbs said.

"Yes, my silver fox?" Abby said. Gibbs didn't respond, but instead swatted her butt twice. "What was that for?"

"One was for spying after I told you not to and the other was for tattling," Gibbs said. Abby opened her mouth to speak, but Gibbs placed his finger over her lips.

"I warned you that it wouldn't be on the head."

**PLEASE REVIEW, it makes us happy!**


	4. Cambiano I Suonatori Ma La Musica è Semp

Cambiano I Suonatori Ma La Musica è Sempre Quella.

_Cambiano i suonatori ma la musica è sempre quella._  
**English translation:** The melody's changed but the song remains the same.

Ziva sat on the edge of the bed, staring at her left hand. Tony was in the shower and Ziva could hear the sound of the water running. The light from the bedside table cast a glow, making the engagement ring on her finger sparkle. Underneath the engagement ring, her wedding band cast a band of warmth around her finger.

It had been two years since they had broken the news to the team that they were getting married, one year since their wedding, and six months since Gibbs had finally accepted that they were together. She smiled at the thought of all the things that had changed at NCIS since then.

A few months after Tony and Ziva had announced their engagement; McGee and Abby had revealed that they had been seeing each other and that Abby was pregnant. They now had a one and a half year old little girl who they named Levana Caitlin. They had gotten married after Levana was born and made Tony and Ziva her godparents.

Ducky had retired after his mother had died. Palmer graduated from medical school and had taken Ducky's position but the elder doctor still visited on occasion and was still invited to all of the family parties.

Soon after Gibbs had accepted Tony and Ziva, he had begun to make more frequent trips up to the Director's office. He'd return hours later with lipstick on his collar and his hair all mussed.

"_So you get to play hanky-panky with Jen but we can't have a serious relationship_?" _Tony asked._

"_Hanky-panky?" I asked._

Both of them had gotten slapped.

There were some things that hadn't changed though. The bantering and the bickering had actually gotten worse. Not only were they furled by sexual tension, but also by the pressures of being husband and wife.

"_Nice shirt ya got there, Zee-vah," Tony said._

"_If you hadn't broken the washing machine then I'd be wearing something more suitable for work," I snapped back._

"_Hey, it wasn't my idea," Tony retorted._

"_Actually, it was your idea, which you got after watching that stupid movie," I said._

"_Well, you didn't try to stop me after I suggested it," Tony said._

Ziva just smiled in remembrance and placed her hands on her still flat stomach. She had suspected a few weeks ago that she was pregnant and she had visited the doctor, who confirmed. Tony didn't know yet, but she was planning on telling him that night.

Ziva heard the water shut off and headed into the bathroom and saw Tony getting out of the shower with a towel around his waist.

"Tony, there's something I need to tell you," Ziva said.

* * *

_**One Year Later…**_

Ziva arrived at the bullpen with AJ in tow. She wasn't supposed to have him at work, but Sarah McGee had called at six that morning saying that she was sick. Tony arrived a few minutes behind Ziva.

"Why don't you take him down to Abby?" Tony asked, kissing Ziva on the forehead.

"Don't bother, Sarah was supposed to watch Levana too, so we have her here today," McGee said, walking into the bullpen. Just then the elevator dinged and a frantic Abby and a babbling Levana stepped out.

"Daddy," Levana squealed when she saw McGee. She held out her arms and McGee hoisted her onto his hip.

"Hey baby," McGee said as Levana kissed him on the cheek. "Abs?"

"I need to go pick up Ducky and take him to his doctor's appointment," Abby said. "So you need to watch Levi until I get back."

"Hey calm down! How many Caf-Pows did you have?" McGee asked.

"This many!" Levana shrieked as she held up her hand, displaying all five fingers.

"ABBY!" McGee said scolding.

"I was thirsty!" Abby said defending herself. McGee groaned.

"Fine, I'll watch her, just try not to take too long, okay?" McGee said. Abby smiled and gave her husband and gave her daughter a kiss.

"Thank you, Timmy. You be good for Daddy, Levi, okay?" Abby said, placing her forehead against Levi's, causing the little girl to giggle.

"Ok Mommy," Levi said, her green eyes flashing mischievously. Ziva smiled as she watched this encounter between her co-workers.

"Gentle, Levi, gentle. He's a baby," Ziva heard McGee coo and looked over to see Levi looking curiously at AJ.

"Do you want to hold him?" Ziva asked her niece and Levi nodded vigorously. Ziva stood up and McGee placed Levi on Ziva's chair. Ziva unbuckled AJ from his car seat and placed him gently in Levi's arms while McGee squatted beneath her, making sure that she didn't drop him. Ziva pulled her phone out of her pocket and snapped a picture.

Years later, that picture was put on display at Levi's and AJ's wedding.

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**In case you didn't catch that, Levi is short for Levana. Please review, Cable Addict and I appreciate it greatly!**


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